"Pizza is my Battle Horse"
This was written on Sept. 20th, 2017. I do not remember why I wrote this, most likely an exaggerated response.
Pizza is my Battle Horse
A considered declaration
"È il mio cavallo di battaglia," in English literally translates to, “It's my battle horse”. An Italian phrase that is meant to tout one's skills in a certain field, often used to humbly reassure those around you, a confident declaration of prowess. Pizza is my battle horse, and throughout my many years I have confidently ridden this noble steed into a myriad of trials and conflicts, emerging not always victorious, but absolutely learned. A person's general understanding relies on their ability to admit defeat, yield the line, and dismiss their ego. Within the realm of pizza, it is necessary to possess an entirely objective vantage point to all aspects of the pie. Without a scientific approach there exists a danger of personal bias interfering in what could be a reasoned undertaking; a total understanding of what pizza is, what it represents, and how it affects not just humanity, but the entire universe.
While it may not be the first thing that catches your eye, the crust of a pizza pie is by far the most important segment, it is what allows the pie to be. Without the crust, there would just be a confusing puddle of sauce, cheese, and toppings, and that is something that nobody should be okay with. A pizza pie lives and dies by the quality of the crust; a soggy crust comes apart easily, not unlike an argument strewn with logical fallacies. A dry crust has no personality, no distinct traits to highlight uniqueness and nuance. A chewy crust is stubborn, strident, and makes the jaw sore. To achieve a perfect foundation, a layer of mild to moderate crunch encapsulating a soft and cooperative interior must be present. With these attributes present, there exists seemingly limitless potential for supreme satisfaction.
Resting gracefully atop the crust is an often under-appreciated and overlooked player, the sauce. The sauce acts as an orator, standing upon the stage that is the crust, speaking to the cheese and toppings, imparting crucial information, enabling the harmonious union that will exist upon the arrival at Nirvana, Valhalla, pizza bliss. The success of the sauce depends heavily upon its audience of toppings. You can have a pesto fail miserably with an indifferent audience, or it can flourish with like minded cohorts. A marinara, while versatile and malleable, is not infallible. One must know the sauce on a deeper level in order to successfully pair it with its friends.
The star of the show, the gleaming supermodel in the limelight, the proud champion of the pie; the toppings are the face of the brand and the front of the house. While the role of the toppings is undeniably important, they cannot achieve their goals without the crust and sauce. The toppings act as a charismatic promoter, Don King selling The Rumble in the Jungle, and it is their job to command your attention and keep it. There exists a seemingly endless combination of cheeses and toppings that can adorn a pizza, but it is foolish to see the seemingly endless amount of combinations as a viable approach to a legitimate pie. A basic knowledge of topping flavor profiles and textures is required to craft a pizza that is able to be taken seriously among the respected pizza community, and fortunately for society, most of the basic pizza structures are common knowledge. It is important to realize that a failed pizza does not have far reaching or long lasting consequences, enabling the general population to freely experiment with seemingly ludicrous combinations without fear. It is highly advisable for everyone to take part in the collective pizza adventure, take part in our effort to further our knowledge and strengthen our relationship with pizza. Such action will benefit the individual and the entire population.
As a whole, pizza presents a complex concept that can take the form of a symphony, or a cacophony. It is up to us to determine the form pizza takes, the decisions required must be carefully considered in conjunction with sound judgment, astute awareness, and an understanding of the available information. Mistakes and failures will be encountered along the way, but these only serve as valuable lessons and knowledge to pass on for the advancement of humanity. Pizza as a food item and as a concept acts as a beacon of hope for humanity, it is an endless frontier on which we can forever venture forth, always reveling and basking in the glorious light of discovery. We can fearlessly pursue any whim that we may have, inhibitions cease to exist, and the pure joy of wonder and discovery allows us to experience what it is to truly be human.